all things go.

i called it.
i called it!

i freakin called it.


all of the sudden I'm alone again.
i called it.
i did.

saw it coming.
from every angle.

hahaha.
oh the cynicism in that laugh.

its okay.
much better this way.
that wasn't meant to rhyme.


anyway.

its much quieter now.
mostly silence from my phone.
stagnancy on the homepage of my myspace.
spaces in my schedule.

but it's okay, it really is.
this is what i wanted.
ME time.
right?
yes. of course.

i just find it so
FUNNY
how
all of the sudden
_/\_/\_/\_________________________
a flat line.
all
of the sudden.

this is how i see the situation
in my imaginative head.

there was this huge swimming pool
right in front of me.
it wasn't very hot outside
it was actually rather comfortable.
a desired temperature, i think.
this pool, however, looked tempting.
i wanted to jump in.
i did.
i felt compelled to swim.
but something,
instinct, maybe,
told me
NO
you'll regret it.
its not hot enough outside*
*(the time isn't right)
and you'll end up cold!
the pool says to me
"its okay, im heated. you'll never be cold."
my instinct says to me
"hannah, it could very well be broken.
and you wouldn't know until you jumped in."
i agreed with the reasoning.
if that were the case
it would be too late.
cold hannah.
but i still pondered.
the pool looked so
refreshing
beautiful
tempting.
"i'll be here all day hannah.
you just take your time.
trust that i'm not going anywhere.*
i'm a pool.
(i'm [insert name here])*"

so
i inch closer
and dip one little toe in
and its a bit chilly
but enticing, nonetheless.
its a pool.
i want to swim.
one foot in, now
two feet in
eyes closed now
still a skeptic
then
suddenly i'm waste deep.
haven't gone all the way in
but in too far to go back
without freezing.

i open my eyes
i open my eyes with caution
and vulnerability
and see
the water
receding
and receding
and receding.
faster now
its disappearing
until the pool has dried up
completely.

the wind blows
i'm soaking wet
and shivering.

i stand
in the middle of this empty pool
and say
"i called it."
yeah
i called it
but i wasnt listening.
who was i listening to?

who the hell was i listening to?



if you're looking for me
on land is where i'll be.


for a while, at least.


♥